Lake Shenanigans

Christi Carlton Uncategorized
Christi Carlton Blog Post


Dating as a single Mom can be overwhelming and downright frustrating at times.  Let me take you back to one of my favorite dating failures.  It’s 2013 on a Saturday morning and my son is gone to see his Grandparents for the week.  My dear friend Amanda calls and says she coming over for coffee and a workout.  Yay!  Over coffee we share some interesting stories of men we have chatted with this week and share our frustration with the lack of quality men available at the moment.  After coffee, we drag our tired butts upstairs, put in a workout video and proceed to try and keep up with the all too chipper instructor.

Upon regaining the ability to breathe, Amanda looks and me and says, “FYI…we ARE taking your boat out today.”  As I lay on the floor lifeless, I turn my head toward her and say, “Hell yeah sister!!!  Let’s roll”.  I spring to my feet and away we go…

We manage to stay on the lake until the storms roll in and force us to head for land.  On the way home, Amanda and I decide to have a good old-fashioned girls night out.  A little music, dancing, cocktails, flirting, and who knows what else.  As we ponder where to spend the evening, we finally decide on a few hot spots around the lake.

There is one particular place that I love to go for lunch when we are out of the boat.  They have a great outside patio that overlooks the water and the atmosphere is so peaceful, very “Florida Key’s” like.  I’ve only been there once after dark, so we decide to give it a try and see what’s there.

On the way out, I get a text from a guy I talked to earlier in the week, whom I have not met in person yet.  He says he and a buddy are headed to the same place we are.  My first thought is, “Oh crap…not a remake of Dr. Douche-bag”.  Then I think perhaps this one is different.  So…I tell him we are headed that way too.  What’s the worst that could happen right?  Famous last words…

Amanda and I look amazing as we sashay into the establishment.  We proceed over to the bar and order a beverage.  As we purse our lips against our glasses of courage, we survey the room, soaking in all of the hotness we are surrounded by.  All of a sudden there is a sense of familiarity but we can’t pinpoint it just yet… Then…it hits us!  Most of the guys in the room have contacted us on the dating app we are presently using!  We look at each other and giggle as we watch these men try to hook up with anything that walks.  We realize at this point we are in a meat market…

An hour or so has gone by and no sign of Mr. Texter and his friend.  I check my phone and low and behold a text.  “Hey.  I’m so sorry we are running late.  My buddy wanted to make a quick stop somewhere else.”  I politely text back, “No worries.  We are getting ready to head out.  You will have to find us if you are still interested.”  I proceed to provide a few vague clues actually hoping they won’t find us. Honestly, we just wanted some fun girl time.

We leave the meat market after being hit on by a guy in his 70’s who is struggling to hold his liquor and head to the final stop of the evening.  About 15 minutes after e arrive, Mr. Texter sends me yet another note saying they were finally on their way and he was so excited to see me.  At this point, I had had enough.  He was nearly 2 hours late and I didn’t want to see him anyway, so I stepped outside to make the call.  As he answered, I simply said, “We’ve gone hone for the evening.  The next time you tell a girl you will meet her at a certain time, I suggest you stick to the plan.  Amanda and I had a lovely evening and I wanted to personally thank you for allowing us to have a wonderful girls night out.”  He was literally speechless for about 5 seconds, at which point I simply said goodnight and hung up the phone.   

The moral of the story is do not wait on a man for hours in hopes he will show up.  If he’s not there in 15 minutes, leave, go do something fun!  If he doesn’t have respect to show up for a first date, he will have less respect as time passes. God gave women the ability to sense things and we sensed these guys weren’t going to be worth our time.  Embrace it, love it, trust it.  IT IS REAL!


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