Have you ever noticed after a breakup you feel lost, alone, and have no idea how to live your life? It feels like the world has stopped spinning. You look around and all you see is darkness. Everything moves in slow motion, and you feel as if no one can see you. You’ve become a ghost in your own body. You’ve just lost the person you depend on, that you love with all of your heart, and now they are gone. This can be devastating! It can be even more devastating when you never saw it coming or it wasn’t your decision to end the relationship.
Breakups of this magnitude can trigger fear, anger, doubt, and deep worry within you. You trusted this person, you believed in the person, you did everything with this person, and now they are gone. You feel hopeless and powerless. You feel like the rug was just pulled out from under you. You can’t stop crying, you won’t eat, and you hear people talking but can’t process the words. You are in utter shock. Often it is so difficult to understand how this happened in the first place. You may say to yourself things like, “Everything was going great”, “We were so happy”, or “We were perfect for each other”. The endless cycle of why things ended can make you feel crazy and spiral out of control, deep into a state of sadness or even depression. It is critical for you to recognize how serious your feelings are and take the proper actions to stop them before they get worse.
If this is you, trust me, I have been in your shoes, there are things you can do right now to ease the pain and heal the sadness. If you, or someone you know is overwhelmed with sadness or depression from a traumatic breakup, the following suggestions will help ease the pain and start the healing process.
Why The Pain Runs Deep
When you become emotionally attached to another person, it takes time to readjust and feel happy without a partner. This is completely normal. After all, you invested a lot of time and effort in a relationship. When it doesn’t work out, it can feel like you wasted a lot of time and energy. Now is the time to “grow your single legs”. How do you do this? Take the time to remember that the relationship was time well spent. You learned and grew as a person because of the relationship. Reflect on how you have changed because of the relationship.
Recognize the Difference Between Grief and Depression
Grief is the process of being sad over the loss of the relationship. Depression is more than just being sad and wishing it worked out. It is a feeling of powerlessness and negative thoughts that last more than a few weeks. The powerless feeling often comes from the feeling that the breakup happened to you instead of feeling it was a mutual decision.
When someone believes it happened to them, they often have feelings of anger or hopelessness. You must work through these feelings to become whole again. Many people look for guidance from a Coach. An Empowerment Coach or Love Transformation Expert can often help you make sense of the breakup and help you transform your life to a place of strength in relatively short periods of time.
Learn That Lost Love is Different Than Lost Life
A relationship does not define you as a person or your life. It represents a period in your life, a chapter if you will. When a relationship ends, life does not stop. It’s just lived differently. Learn to enjoy time alone. Do things that you always wanted to do but couldn’t because your partner didn’t share the same interest. It is okay to feel sad, but never let life stop because of a breakup. You are worth all the love you have ever given other. Now is the time to nurture the relationship within you, love yourself, take care of yourself, and learn how to come out stronger than ever.
Why They Were Not Perfect For You After all
During your relationship, you probably had warning signs that things were not right. As you reflect on what you learned, I would be willing to bet the warning signs will become very clear. Being blindsided by a breakup hurts but it could be the best thing to that ever happened to you. It’s important to realize that this love was not THE love. It is possible you have not met your true love yet. However, it is possible that the one you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with is right in front of you; waiting patiently, and you don’t even realize it. Talk with a Love Transformation Expert and ask how you can set your path to find lasting love.
If you have recently broken up with someone and you feel overwhelmingly sad, speak to someone. You are not alone, and there are things you can do to position your life on a positive path and pull out of the pain you are feeling. You are an amazing creature and worthy of so much happiness. Take the first step and reach out. You are never alone.